On a sunny afternoon at a playground in Amstel, two kids were hard at "work", joyfully building a grand sandcastle.
Suddenly, a third child rushed by, knocking over their masterpiece in an instant. One of the kids looked at the scattered sand and burst into tears, overcome with disappointment.
Yet the other child, after a moment of surprise, brushed off the setback with a smile. “It’s okay, let’s build it again—maybe even bigger this time!” she said.
Watching this unfold, it's a good moment to look inward: what makes one child Bounce back with Determination while another crumbles?
It’s moments like these that highlight the powerful Impact of Character Traits shaped from a young age - qualities that, alongside intelligence, can define how our children face the world, today and for the rest of their lives.
Character building isn’t just about teaching kids to behave; it’s about Nurturing Specific Qualities that help them React Constructively to Challenges. So, what are the most important traits parents should focus on, and at what ages?
Let’s dive into the 7 Key Qualities that experts believe are essential for raising resilient, kind, and capable children.
Resilience: Bouncing Back from Challenges (Ages 3+)
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep going despite difficulties. This trait is crucial because it teaches kids not to give up when faced with challenges, helping them become Problem-Solvers rather than victims of their circumstances.
According to Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine and an expert on resilience, “Resilience is rooted in connections, competence, and confidence.” He emphasizes the role of supportive relationships and encouraging environments in developing this skill from a young age.
A child who learns resilience might fall off their bike and, instead of giving up, gets back on and tries again. This is in stark contrast to a child who might give up after the first fall, feeling defeated and unwilling to try new things.
Empathy: Understanding Others’ Feelings (Ages 2+)
Empathy allows children to connect with others, understand different perspectives, and act kindly. It's a fundamental quality that fosters strong relationships and a sense of community.
Dr. Daniel Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry, emphasizes the importance of teaching empathy early on. He suggests that when children learn to Understand and Name their Emotions, they are better equipped to recognize and respond to the feelings of others.
To Purchase: The Color Monster: A Story about Emotions by Anna Llenas, an International Bestseller that helps young readers Identify Emotions
Picture a scenario where one child notices another sitting alone during playtime and goes over to ask if they want to join. This child has learned to recognize loneliness and acts to help - a quality that builds lifelong friendships and social skills.
To Explore: Character Building Books from our Collection
Self-Control: Managing Impulses (Ages 4+)
Self-control, or self-discipline, is essential for helping kids manage their emotions, make thoughtful decisions, and interact respectfully with others. It’s the difference between a child who snatches a toy in frustration and one who can Express their Needs Calmly.
A child with self-control might take a deep breath instead of yelling when frustrated, showing they’ve learned to regulate their emotions in tough moments. It always shakes me to the core when I see kids rolling on the floor at the cashier in a grocery store, begging for just a small bag of candy or crying without even saying a word.
Walter Mischel’s famous Marshmallow Test highlights the long-term benefits of self-control. Children who were able to Delay Gratification - waiting to receive a second marshmallow instead of eating the first one right away - tended to have better life outcomes, including academic success and emotional stability.
Curiosity: A Lifelong Love of Learning (Ages 1+)
Curiosity drives exploration, creativity, and a desire to learn. Educational psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, known for her work on growth mindset, emphasizes that fostering curiosity encourages a love of learning. When children are encouraged to ask questions and explore, they develop a mindset that values effort and perseverance.
To Explore: Waarom? Daarom! door Rudyard Kipling
A curious child faced with a new game doesn’t shy away but dives in, eager to figure it out. This contrasts with a child who might avoid unfamiliar situations, missing opportunities to learn and grow.
From asking endless “Why” questions to tinkering with toys to understand how they work, curious kids are more likely to embrace new ideas and challenges.
Gratitude: Appreciating What We Have (Ages 5+)
Gratitude helps children focus on the positive aspects of their lives, fostering happiness and emotional resilience. Grateful kids are more likely to feel content, generous, and connected to those around them.
Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, highlights that practicing gratitude from a young age can improve mental health, increase optimism, and enhance relationships. Simple habits like saying “thank you” and reflecting on good experiences can instill a positive mindset.
A child who regularly practices gratitude might thank their friend for sharing a toy or appreciate small moments, like a sunny day. This attitude helps them stay positive even in challenging situations.
Perseverance: The Power of Not Giving Up (Ages 6+)
Perseverance teaches kids to stick with tasks, even when they’re hard. Angela Duckworth, a psychologist known for her research on grit, notes that perseverance is a better predictor of success than talent. Gritty kids learn that success comes from hard work and persistence, not just innate ability.
It’s about effort, grit, and determination—a key factor in achieving long-term goals and overcoming obstacles.
A child demonstrating perseverance might continue practicing a sport or musical instrument, even when progress feels slow, whereas others might give up early.
Integrity: Doing the Right Thing (Ages 7+)
Integrity is about honesty, fairness, and doing what’s right, even when it’s difficult. Kids who develop integrity are trusted, respected, and capable of making ethical decisions. A child with integrity might own up to a mistake instead of hiding it, showing they value truth over convenience—a critical lesson for building trust in relationships.
Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development highlight how children learn ethical reasoning. By reinforcing honesty and accountability from a young age, parents can guide their kids toward developing a strong moral compass.
To Explore: Character Building Books from our Collection
>> Share with us your thoughts over the Role of Parents in Character Building or your favorite book that you use!
Parents play a crucial role in nurturing these qualities by modeling behaviors, providing encouragement, and creating environments that allow children to practice these traits daily.
As Dr. Ginsburg puts it,
“... Every interaction is an opportunity to build resilience and character.”
The goal isn’t perfection but progress—small steps toward becoming the best version of themselves.
By focusing on these seven qualities, parents can help their children develop the emotional tools needed to thrive in an ever-changing world. So next time your child faces a challenge, remember: it’s not just about fixing the problem but building the skills to tackle the next one.
by Glamorous team with Love
Grace
